Digging a Hole

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Fevers Free Up Time

Or: In Which Kerry Gets in Trouble for Talking About Country Music Again

Oh, werd?
So, things have been crazy lately. I took on this extra project at work that stresses me out, earns me no money, and may or may not be accomplishing anything... But I'm sure it's a good experience. And Regional Director Dude made me cry. Unrelated.
That being said, just when I got my shit together, I got a 'flu-like virus'. Luckily, as of last week, I have health insurance! Unluckily, I have no sick days. Don't expect to see me on the weekends any time soon.... Sigh...
I *do* have time right now though, so here is a mini-post about what I watched on TV today.
First of all, Nickolodeon GAS shows repeats of GUTS and Legends of the Hidden Temple. Go Silver Snakes! Second, my 3billion movie channels allow ample opportunities to see Face Off, The Birdcage, and Enemy of the State. (And nothing else.)
But most importantly, I have music video channels, like my favorite, the Great American Country channel.
For those who don't know, I am an unapologetic, unironic fan of country music. Nothing makes me happier than cranking the radio in the middle of Pennsylvania. It matches the landscape. The rhythm of the lyrics is often smoother than that of popular hip hop. It frequently features fiddles! (Air harmonica!)
My problem, today, is the lack of morality, dare I say the MORAL RELATIVISM, of the Great American Country channel. This afternoon's block of videos claims to be a family-oriented format. (Read: safe for people who tried to impeach Bill Clinton.) The very first video was for a song called "I Got a Brand New Girlfriend". This is a GREAT song. The plot of the song is that the guy gets dumped, but he gets a 'brand new girlfriend' with whom he "spent the whole day lyin' on the beach". Innocent enough... But wait, they were, "Wearing nothin' but a smile!" Unless you live in a Christian nudist colony, these are not "songs the whole family can enjoy." The video clears up the moral confusion. She's not a *real* woman. She's a blow up doll!
So, according to the family-friendly format of the Great American Country channel, it is totally okay to lie on the beach naked with a blow-up doll. We laugh at you, Satan.
Incidently, that block of videos was entirely sponsored by The State of Tennessee. I know where me and my nude blow-up doll are going on vacation!