Digging a Hole

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

CROSSTRAIN-MASTER! the new roleplay

Oh werd? XT in 1 post? No problem!

You are the crosstrain. You find yourself on a strange couch in a cabin in Kentucky. There is an iPod on the television next to you. There are a couple of people milling around.
Obvious exits are south, east, and Michigan.
What wouldst thou deu?
__Introduce myself. __

You meet Rex, Wes, and Brent.
There is a 'burb named Birch with a smashed up windshield in the driveway, FYI.
Obvious exits are south, east, and Michigan.
What wouldst thou deu?
__Get in 'burb and drive to Michigan.__

So, the drive was pretty fun. What should have taken 9 hours... took about 14. Along the way, we stopped in a Pizza Hut in Kentucky and terrified the locals returning from church services with requests for vegetarian pizza options in the lunch buffet, long-haired young men, and Dropkick Murphys hoodies. Someone needs to teach the children in Paducah that it's not polite to point.
Somewhere deep into Indiana, a bunch of us got into an extended argument/discussion about monotheism vs. polytheism which, I soon discovered, is Rex's academic passion. It wasn't long before I could give a pretty good "Rex's history of monotheism" rap.
I slept on another couch, this time in East Lansing.

You find yourself in a strange Clean Water Action office. You do not know the rap. You are asked to train new staff anyway. Obvious exits are: none.
What wouldst thou deu?
__Run a rap circle and wing it.___

So, my first day was a bit of a disaster. Because I am an FM, I guess there was the assumption that I didn't need to have a retrain, or say, learn the rap before my first day in the field, but this assumption was, well... pretty wrong. The Michigan standard is lower than my NJ standard, but not *that* much lower. I returned to the meetup that night, covered in ice and snow, completely exhausted, and carrying only $31. A personal lowest total ever. Awesome!
Fortunately, the next day I received a retrain with Coy, the AT-hiking canvasser from Georgia, who gave me a dose of "slow your rap down, Jersey" and some much-needed confidence.

You find yourself at staff night (Thursdays). There is a ladder in the corner with a potted plant on it- Oops! Nevermind, the plant got smashed and the ladder has been kicked over. There is a card game in the corner. A table has been thrown through the computer stand. There are about 20 past-canvassers and 8 current. There is beer in the fridge.
What wouldst thou deu?
___Get another beer.__
___Meet fun people.__
___Stumble home at 7am and still make it to work Friday morning.__
You get +15 in your alcohol tolerance.

You find yourself in a basement (hey! it's the basement of the house you're staying in!). The air is clouded with smoke. Your canvass-director is spinning Michael Jackson records and Detroit electronic music. Coy is dancing and telling AT stories.
What wouldst thou deu?
__Soak it all in.__
Gain 15 peace of mind points.

You find yourself at a legislative breakfast. Senator Brader has offered you condolences on your late aunt. Several state environmental leaders do the same. This is disconcerting for you. To your left is a representative who is undecided on water diversion legislation.
What wouldst thou deu?
__Lobby him.__
Oops! He gives you the runaround, dodges your question, and offers an unrelated tale of algae so thick it claimed a basketball instead. You suck at lobbying. Lose 10 political-skillz points. Gain 10 "I knew your aunt" points.

You need to make weekly standard by having an amazing Friday total in order to stay on your crosstrain. You are also running the crew and have an observer. You are a tad hungover.
What wouldst thou deu?
___Raise standard.__
Success! You don't have to come home early!

You find yourself at another staff night, playing Republican (a dice game). You roll a 32. You are screwed. You needed doubles.
What wouldst thou deu?
__Look Rex in the eye and tell him I rolled a 55.__
Sorry! Rex is really good at this game. He calls your bluff. You lose. Gain 12 "take a shot, Kerry" points.

It is the weekend. You are attending a party with all the other midwest-area offices.
What wouldst thou deu?
__Stay up all night, drink too much, stage an anti-Bush protest at 2am with 20 other drunk activists, dance at a bar, play Michael Jackson's greatest hits cd on repeat, watch Zoolander, pass out somewhere, get breakfast the next morning.___

You are driving the 'burb. Rex is shouting instructions that are half serious. Dan is trying to give directions that are actually serious. Rex tells you you need to make a Michigan-left, but doesn't tell you what that is.
What wouldst thou deu?
__Accidently run 3 consecutive red lights and make a redonkculous left turn that involves making a right turn first. (WTF?)__
("Uh, Kerry? I don't know what they do in NJ, but even in Michigan, we stop at red lights. And slow down at yellow ones while I'm on the subject."
"Shut up, Rex.")

You are running the crew today. You have a retrain and an observer, you are in a tough town, and everyone needs to make standard and then some.
What wouldst thou deu?
__Rock it out.__
You and your crew do, indeed, rock it out. Everyone raises standard and has a good time. Your canvass director treats you and the crew to several bottles of wine at "half-priced bottle night" at this chill wine place. Gain 25 confidence points.

It is St. Patrick's Day! You are on a pub crawl that hasn't crawled past the first pub yet. Obvious exits are blurry.
What wouldst thou deu?
__Fuck it. This pub is good enough.___

You are at the airport. Obvious exits are your gate.
What wouldst thou deu?
___Get on plane.__
Oops! Your canvass director didn't buy your ticket until two days before you are scheduled to leave. You now owe Clean Water Action $300 and your soul. You lose all your Saturdays for the next two months, but that's the price you must pay to become....