Digging a Hole

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Fun With Holiday Retail!

Oh, werd?
So, while EVERY OTHER Barnes and Noble in NYC had to either close early or open late due to the strike, Park Slope managed to rustle together enough local employees to be open all day. Some employees lost shifts. Some gained shifts. Some shifted shifts or worked longer hours. But somehow, we were open. And the Park Slopians stranded in Brooklyn decided to make the Tuesday before Xmas the 3rd biggest shopping day of the year while other B and Ns lost business. Manhattan's loss. =D
Not that it was my gain.....
Or any gain for the employees who lost shifts right before Xmas....
Here are some excerpts from the day:

KPd.: Happy Holidays!
Some shopper: Happy holidays to you too! =D

KPd.: Happy Holidays!
Some Woman (annoyed): Don't you mean "Merry Xmas?"

Some Woman: Merry Xmas!
KPd.: Merry Xmas!
3 Managers: Kerry! Don't ever say that again!

Cheap Woman: I want to make a return.
KPd.: Okay, please wait here while I get a head cashier. Do you have a receipt?
CW: Yes, here it is. Is this going to take long?
KPd.: This receipt is from 2000. It's um.... a little past the 14 days.... You can only get store credit.
CW: Fine. Why am I still waiting here? What's the holdup?
KPd.: Well, considering you waited SIX YEARS to make this return, this is comparatively not too bad, eh?

Old woman: I want to return these reading glasses.
KPd.: I'm sorry, but you don't have the receipt or even the packaging. We have no way to know whether we even sold these.
Old woman: But it's cold out. I walked here in the cold.
KPd.: That really doesn't change the situation...

KPd.: Do you have a discount card?
Woman: Nope.
KPd.: Do you want one?
Woman: Nope.
KPd.: Do you need a gift receipt?
Woman: Nope.
KPd.: Did you use rocket skates or a pogo stick to get here?
Woman: What?
KPd.: I felt like our conversation had hit a rut.
Woman: (laughs)

KPd.: Hi! Find everything you were looking for?
Orthodox man: Yes mam.
KPd.: Do you need any gift receipts today?
Orthodox man: No mam.
KPd.: Do you have a discount card?
Orthodox man: (staring at me like I missed something): I'm Jewish.
KPd.: Okay... (thinking he maybe misheard her and very confuzzled) It's just a 10% off card.
Orthodox man: I'm *Jewish*.
KPd.: Oh. Well.... have a great day!

Creepy Xian man: Why don't you have any copies of The War on Christianity?
KPd.: Cause.... we ran out?
CXM: So, what... you don't carry Christian books?
KPd.: Um.... other than the bookshelf-full downstairs?

Person buying clearly educational stuff: No, I don't have a discount card.
KPd.: Ya know, we do have a teacher's discount. It's bigger too. Do you have a UFT card with you?
PBCET: Um, no, not with me.
(quietly) Except I did. Happy Holidays!
PBCET: Thanks for the discount!!!
KPd.: Work on your subtlety there....
PBCET: Ooh, sorry... Merry Christmas.
KPd.: =)


(and a poem!)

Merry Christmas MTA.
Please try less hard to get your way.
Merry Christmas TWU.
That sentiment goes for you too.

Merry Christmas Mayor Bloomberg.
Wear a hat when you walk to work!
Merry Christmas to Pataki.
Whose name, I noticed, rhymes with wacky.

Merry Christmas to commuters.
Who stayed at home with their computers.
Merry Christmas to employees
Who can't stay home whenever they please.

Merry Christmas to the union
Deep down we all hope that you win.
But we wish you hadn't hurt the city
It's almost Christmas. Please have pity.