Switchgrass and the Human/Animal Hybrids

Oh, werd?
Did you know that America has an addiction to oil? Specifically oil originating from the Middle East? As Strongbad might say... HOLY CRAP!
Thankfully, we have our forward-thinking president to alert us to our impending energy doom. As the big energy companies noticed recently, oil is getting harder and harder to come by. That's why they are suddenly investing in renewable energy. And as goes the large energy companies, so goes the president from Texas.
Well, almost.
First we'll detour through "clean coal" which, I assume, is the fossilized remains of "clean prehistoric plantlife". Also, it gives Republicans money. Cleaner money than that money they got from that lobbiest......
Then, perhaps, we'll meander through a retro energy period. Nucular energy! It's like, if cocaine was cool again. Or, an unwinnable war and the folk music that opposed it. Oh, wait... Damn. To those of us following the country's oldest nuclear reactor (it's in NJ!), has come the news that it has had to be shut down recently due to several large malfunctions. Don't worry though, it'll totally still get it's permit renewed.
So, our commander in chief, knowing that we already were prepared to boo clean coal and hiss nucular technology, threw a curveball. Switchgrass! What is it? http://bioenergy.ornl.gov/papers/misc/switchgrass-profile.html
Cool. But what does the coal interest have to say about Bush's cheating heart?
Let's allow switchgrass to explain itself.
"Perhaps most important, we must recognize that fossil fuels will be our main energy base for many years, and bioenergy from switchgrass is not intended to compete with these valuable resources, but rather, to complement them by softening their environmental impact."
Switchgrass, the non-threatening renewable energy. Ya know.... maybe we could find a way to fossilize switchgrass....
And on to audience reponses. Or, more importantly, camera choices.
1) Coretta Scott King tribute: Cue shots on the the three black guys in the audience! Dude, where was Condoleeza? She's got some color.
2) That bomb sniffing dog. It had a chair! It wasn't sitting in it.... but it had a chair! It could have taken a page from Bush Sr. and peed on a dignitary....
3) The angry Arab-looking guy. All that freedom-speak had him looking positively pissed. What was that about? He obviously belonged with us, laughing and booing our way through the speech at a bar with Park Slope Drinking Liberally. He would have had way more fun.
4) The Supreme Court Justices. They looked like Ringwraiths! One vote to in the darkness bind them, indeed.
5) Hillary Clinton. Was she mad because Bush pretended to be friends with her husband? Or was she mad that her husband was mentioned at all? Boys are stupid, Hillary! Throw rocks at them!
What did the Democrats think about all this? Well, I and others got the Democratic response fallguy mixed up with Mark Warner and made fun of his left eyebrow... but we were given a rare show of scrappy sarcastic clapping, one of my most favorite things, when the Dems stood to applaud the failure of Bush's social security initiative. There's no image I like better than when someone with a blackening eye and blood oozing from their teeth eyes their tormentor and offers then a wry, bloodstained grin. It shows life. Now take that scrappiness and fight the bastards, Dems!
So, how about those human/animal hybrids? I know *I* love the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Surely, the Bush twins watched Thundercats! But alas, Leonardo will have to remain a painter and a fiction phenomenon. No hybrids! Unless they involve cars running on switchgrass. Geez, what kind of world do we want our children to grow up in anyway?
Clearly a wine-sipping, overeducated, elitist French-speaking lame one. With mice with human ears. Actually, that's pretty cool.