I Love Cash Registers!!!!

Oh, werd?
My new keyboard (Skylar's keyboard) sounds like a movie keyboard. Like, mission control would type on this. Or... Neo in the Matrix would use it to type. It's very noisy in a satisfying kind of way.
Anyhoo, this post is not about Skylar, this post is about Barnes and Noble!
That's right, I got ANOTHER JOB! For those who don't know, I quit Dialoguing!!! Yay!
Here's how: (gosh I hope they never read my blog...)
KPd.: Hi Supervisor! It's Kerry.
Sup: Hey Kerry! How're you?
KPd.: Well, not so good actually.... You know how I've been having like, outside pressures?
Sup: (thinking: No.) Yes, definitely. What's going on?
KPd.: Well, it's gotten to the point where it is affecting my ability to do my job. I am really sorry, but I don't think I can continue to work here. I don't really want to talk about it. But, I really loved working with you guys, and I have a ton of respect for everyone.
Sup: Oh, I'm so sorry. I know you don't want to talk about whatever is going on, but know that you always can! And whenever you want your job back, it's waiting for you.
KPd.: Gosh, thanks! (overwhelmed and feeling guilty) By the way, could you mail me my paychecks?

So, thus concludes my tenure as a street dialoguer. It was a good run. Sorta... But I am beginning a new era in my life..... HOLIDAY RETAIL!
It took two attempts, but I got hired as slave labor at Barnes and Noble. Sweet!
I get awesome benefits like:
-a .25 cent raise to 7.75 after 90 days!!!
-24 guaranteed hours of work each week! (sweet!)
-health benefits in a year! That's like, no time at all!
-the opportunity to work Christmas Eve, midnight the night before Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving Break, AND the day after Christmas too!
Now how many jobs let you do THAT?
Oh, and I get half priced coffee at the cafe and 30% off books. That's actually kinda cool.
Yesterday, I had a day of training at the official Training Center in Manhattan. I was worried it was going to be awful and corporate and and conclude with us all sipping from a goblet of blood or something, but it was actually quite lovely (and paid). This guy Duane designed and runs the training sessions, and it was clear that he meant it when he said it was, "The best job I've ever had!"
Duane was one of those characters in the world that you are glad to have met and would love to get a coffee with (at half price) sometime. He looked about 45-50 years old with a "Kerry's Dad" beard and suspenders. He loved reading. He loved books. He loved BnN. He told us about how he started at the entry level 11 years ago and worked his way up. All of the training materials were designed by Duane. They were really fun! The fake cash register was a blast. The book searching system (BOOK MASTER!) was interesting. The store tour was what I really liked. I am always fascinated by like, where goods come from... How they get where they are going... Who organizes that kinda stuff.... Now I get to organize that kinda stuff! I can order stuff from warehouses around the country. I can return books to publishers. I can track stuff. I may be a huge dork, but I think that kind of stuff is neat.
Anyhoo, Duane rules, but don't worry. BnN wouldn't want to let a non-corporate guy like Duane train people for too long. Duane is currently "helping" to develop a CDROM that is going to replace him. How fucked up is that? I told Duane I thought that was messed up and offered (only half joking) to help him form a union and fight for his job that he loves so much. Then I called the "WeListen" line and my manager and told both of them that Duane's program was amazing and offered so much more than a CDROM ever could. I got way too invested in BnN already....
Just to make things sane again, I called in and said I couldn't work on my first day due to:
"Yeah, I thought BnN work weeks started on Mondays. Stupid, right? So I scheduled all of my loose end tying up in Jersey to be that Sunday beforehand."
"Oh, I understand. That's cool. You can start Monday then."
My professional telephone demeanor can get me anything I want. =D