A Medley of Sketch

Oh, werd?So, this was a weekend of parties. Always a good thing... but there were definitely more than a few sketchily intoxicated people in my vicinity this weekend who provided some hilarity. So, without further ado...
Favorite lines overheard / moments witnessed this weekend:


Some dude: Are you really a Republican?
KPd.: It's a come as you aren't party.
Some dude: Oh.... but it's a come as you AREN'T party.
KPd.: Yeah.... I know.... So I came as a Republican.
Some dude: So, you ARE a Republican.
KPd.: No, it's a come as you are NOT party.
Some dude: Ohhh..... So.... then.... are you a Republican?

Some sketchy dude: So where are you from originally?
KPd.: North Jersey.
Some sketchy dude: Oh yeah..... Haaaa.... that is such a good state....

Sing-along: Wherever you go, there's always someone Jewish!
So if you feel alone and you're somewhere kinda.... ...newish...

Sketchy girl: So, do you smoke?
Sketchy dude: Smoke whaaaaaaat....?
Sketchy girl: Ciggarettes.
Sketchy guy: What about you Tara?
Tara: No.
Sketchy guy: Want to come on the balcony with us anyway?
Tara: No.
Sketchy guy: I'll get you my coat..... Haaaaa.....
Tara: No.

KPd: So then Bush says, "How many people IS three brazillions?!"
Some guy: Ya know what else is funny? Three brazillion blow jobs.

Some guy: So, if this is a come as you aren't party, did that guy mean to dress up like a 40 year old real estate agent nobody knows, or is that what he IS?
Some other guy: He came straight from work.

KPd.: Hey, can you toss me a pretzel?
Random Kid: ::::chucks high velocity pretzels at my head:::
KPd. and Tara: Ow!

TDK: I need my coat.
Tara: I'll get it for you. What does it look like?
TDK: It's flannel... And plaid... And it's like Winnie the Pooh.

Random girl: Okay, I got a five.
Random guy: Five, five, hands in the sky!
Other random guy: Wait, wasn't it high fives before?
TDK: I'm high.

Sketchy dude: You aren't drinking enough Kerry. I'm going to get you.
KPd.: Oh really?
Sketchy dude: Ha! Categories! (notes he's sitting 5 away from me) The category is: 6 of cards.
Random guy 1: Six of clubs.
Random guy 2: Six of spades.
Random guy 3: Six of hearts.
TDK: Wait, what's the category?
Sketchy dude: Just say a suit of cards. Any suit of cards.
TDK: My balls.
KPd.: ...And I was getting worried there...

Some guy: So, you three ladies all live *together*, eh?

TDK: It's really hard to roll this when you're drunk.

KPd.: Aw, I'm so glad he found somewhere safe to sleep.
Random guys: Hey! Dude! Wake up! We bought more beer!

TDK: Want to hear something funny?
KPd.: Okay, what?
TDK: ...What?

There were lots of good, fun, less sketchy moments at this party as well... but they were definitely less hilarious. Happy work week everyone!