Stockbrokers Ain't No Heroes

...But they will buy you shots of tequila!
Oh, werd?
Tara's 23rd birthday went from lovely dinner to lovely adventure when we wandered into the Wednesday night Manhattan bar scene to celebrate. It all started innocently enough. After a drink at a table, we wandered up to sit at the bar, armed with our MadLibs. Simon, the bartender, helped us think of adverbs, and Liza ordered a round of shots. Just one, mind you, but if there is one thing that attracts rich, married financial dudes avoiding their wives, it's four young women taking a shot.
Bald Guy: Hi there.
KPd. Hey. How are you?
Bald Guy: You should try this beer.
KPd. OKey doke.
Bald guy: So, what do you do?
KPd. (smelling blood): Actually, I just moved from Jersey, and I don't have a job.
Bald guy: Oh, how vulnerable, I mean.... wonderful! for you.....
KPd.: So, are you gonna buy me a drink or what?

One bored married man became two.... then three..... and gosh, they all thought they could drink us under the table. Okay, in some of our cases they were right..... but I went head to head with, oh yes, the Vice President of Lamar advertising, and did alright. He told me he felt weird because he has a daughter my age. That's when I started to think maybe I had played this game a little too enthusiastically, downed our last shot, and looked for the rest of my crew......
Well, it turns out everyone else was a wee bit drunker than I was (yet) and much puking was had. Paid my respects to the bartender (who got the last round of beers, aww), collected various phone numbers (who knows? maybe I'll get a job), grabbed Tara, and marched towards the subway.
At this point, I got all of a sudden drunk. You know the feeling. It causes you to do things like:
1) send text messages that tell people how sober you are
2) send that text message 3 times by accident
3) hit Tara
4) take the subway, get bored, and take a taxi too, for good measure
We made it home safely. I didn't destroy any friendships via text message. I didn't throw up (but you already knew that, dear readers).
Spent all of Thursday tacking phone numbers to the kitchen wall and watching Season 2 of Friends. =D
HAPPY BDAY TARA!
(AND EMILY AND VICKY TOO!)