What I Did With My Summer Vacation

Oh, werd? It's been awhile, eh?
So, I took a hiatus from the internet this summer. No, really. I didn't check my email, I didn't read news online, I didn't see the new Teen Girl Squad cartoon, and I didn't sign onto AIM with some secret screen name. Nope.
I just decided to spend some time enjoying the non-screened world for a bit. It was quite relaxing. Everyone should try it. =D
Here is a summary of what I found in my email after 4 months:
[ONE Campaign]: Fight AIDS in Africa!
Try Viagra FREE for 4 months!
[WESunity]: Racism is bad!
Low low mortgage rates for YOU
Your Wesleyn email account is getting full.
Re: Let's go to a Met's game!
[ONE Campaign]: Perhaps you missed the last email, but AIDS is still a problem.
ViAHgreh free!! Low Low PRICE!
Your Wesleyan email account is getting full.
You have been pre-approved to have your identity stolen!
Does yOuR penIs enlargered? !!!11!!1!!!
[ONE Campaign]: Fuck your apathy!
Your Wesleyan email account has been disconnected.

So, yeah. That was email.... So what else did I do this summer?

April:
KPd.: I'm not sure if I want to work the summer or not yet.
Regional director dude: How can you still not be sure? It must be nice to not have to committ to anything ever, but I need to know. What else could possibly be bothering you?!
KPd.: Fine. Forget it. I'll work til September 1st.
RDD: If you were to stay until the end of September, that would be a 6-month committment, which is really what we look for.
KPd.: You're pushing it.

Summer:
KPd.: I have 4 observers?
Canvass director: And a retrain, yes.

KPd.: So, that's what we do.
Random person: :::brandishing clipboard at me::: Are you going to take this?
KPd.: Well, do you agree with our goals?
RP: :::drops clipboard in garbage:::

College-age guy: Environment? Come inside!
Retrainee: Thanks!
College-age guy's mom: Here are sodas for all of you!
KPd.: Thanks a lot!
CAG: Do you mind if I read you this poem? It reminds me of the environment.
KPd.: Okay.....
CAG: Can you read a verse?
KPd.: Um.... do you agree with our goals or not?
CAG: Yes.... but there's just one problem...... GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!
[Enter entire family with water guns and exit 6 soaked canvassers.]

Real estate woman: Okay, and I'll need 20 dollars for the credit checks.
KPd.: Credit check?

Aerob: We found a subletter. He's Ben's friend Artis's friend Tom.
Tom: I took the liberty of paying the summer's rent, repainting Tara's room, and making curry.

DD: There is nothing I can eat on the boardwalk.
KPd: There's pizza! And corn on the cob with butter! .........And BEER!

KPd.: I can't come into work today because I am throwing up....... but I *swear* it has nothing to do with alcohol!

Aunt Marnie: I knew this year's Cape May trip would be odd. I think MB is haunting us.

Claire: It's raining again.
Karlyn: Another great day at the beach......
Dad: I got cardboard rocket launchers we can fire at each other!
Mormen cousins: Are you sure we're related to the Doyles?

Uncle John, returning on his motorcycle with 5 colorful shovels strapped to his back: We are going to the beach to build the biggest damn sand castle the world has ever seen.

ClaireNKarlyn: Can we go to the boardwalk with Kerry and Kevin?
Uncle John: 2 rules: No tattoos. No lizards.

Bloomfield Avenue. 8am Sunday. Beers and ciggarettes in hand. Barefoot.
A family of well-dressed Jehovah's Witnesses walks by.
Heather: You know, we knock on doors too!

Heather: We are going to be so late for white water rafting...
DD: I know where I'm going. Look! There's the Pizza Hut!
Heather: Let's stop for lunch.
(1 hour later, at campsite)
Heather: Where is everyone?
Canvasser: They all left for white water rafting an hour ago.

(Upon finding the entire canvassers network arrayed in rafts at a safety training overlooking us)
E-Rok: Hey guys!
Rafting instructor: Who are these guys?
Rex: Oh. That's Jersey.
Rafting Instructor: Are you prepared to get bruised and bloodied?
E-Rok: ::shrugs::: Um... Yeah! Sure! Let's go!
Rafting Instructor: Grab a boat. Ask someone to fill you in on the training.

Kevin: Hi, I'm with the New Jersey Environmental Federation.
Random person: I gave to you like... a month ago...
Kevin: Naw... we only come once a year.
RP: No no.... I'm pretty sure... It was a young man named Englebert.
Kevin: (nervously) Um... I don't know of any Engleberts in the office right now...

KPd.: So, it turns out, there isn't a 2 dollar Irish pint night.
Canvassers: Aw...
KPd.: But... There's a buck fifty Irish pint night!

E-Rok: Let's go to the beach BEFORE work.
(4pm that day, at work.)
KPd. I'm really tired. I don't want to start canvassing.
E-Rok: Recline your chair.
KPd.: Huh?
E-Rok: I'm setting an alarm for 5.

Sadownik: (via phone) How are ya!?
KPd: Well, it's 7:30, and I have $25.
Sadownik: Is that good?
KPd: Well, I need $200.
Sadownik: Should I let you go?
KPd: Well, knocking on doors hasn't been working for me, so I'm going to try sitting for 5 minutes.

Kari Ann's brother: You need to get those kids out of this party.
KPd.: Okay man. Alright. Let me just get everyone together.
E-Rok and Chris:(ambushing me during this serious conversation): Throw Kerry in the pool!!!!!

E-Rok: :::bangs on Amanda's window at 6:30am with my belt to get her to wake up and let us into the apt.:::
Amanda: Who the fuck is on the roof at 6:30am?!?
E-Rok: I'm Kerry's friend! She's up here too! Kerry!
KPd.: (dangling my phone charger) Look! It's me! Here's my phone charger!
Amanda: Come inside. Find floor space. I'm going back to bed.

So, that was a sleepy version of my summer. I'm a little rusty with the typing... and thinking.... having not been on the internet in 4 months.... but I'll get back into the zone soon enough.
Jes posted pictures of me moving in today.
http://avenel.blogspot.com