Injuries and Accidents in 2006 America

Oh, werd?
So, I have no health insurance (but I'll qualify next December!), so injuries, accidents, and ailments have to be treated by the seat of my pants. Here are, thus far, the injuries that have gone untreated by professionals in 06:

1) Cut off the tip of left thumb. As I say to customers who wonder why I am fumbling counting money, "I had a tragic quiche-making incident."
Customer: ".......Oh." (blink. blink.)
It bled in a very cool way.
Treatment:
-let bleed for 2 days (to decrease chance of infection)
-put ice on it (to slow bleeding somewhat)
-change bandaids every morning
-assume that tetnus shot from 2001 will cover me
-cranberry juice to cleanse body of bacteria that I can't afford to kill with medicine
2) Busted right big toe. This one was the result of a wall mirror falling on my foot. It's probably just a bone bruise, but who knows? =D The purpleness is receding, so I bet it's fine.
Treatment:
-note that you can't treat a broken toe anyway, so save money by not seeking xrays
-tape to toe next to it
-tred lightly
-pick broken mirror glass out of bed
3) World's Worst Hangover Ever. Yeah.... glogg is the devil in liquid form....
Treatment:
-eggs and potatoes
-move slowly until 2pm
-stick feet in water at Coney Island on New Year's Day

In general, sticking your feet in fookin freezing salt water on New Year's Day is a good idea. It's a fantastic way to start a year. It didn't prevent the injuries, but it cleared up the hangover.
There were some cool folks at the boardwalk....

Cool Folks:
A) Twenty-somethings dancing to old records like there was no tomorrow.
B) Two drunk dudes swimming in their underwear with a bottle of bourbon. They later serenaded me briefly.
C) Old Russian guys with really sweet fishing poles grumbling and fishing off a pier.
D) New York Guy who said, with no irony, in a thick NY accent, "Only in New York!" in reference to the swimmers. The tourism board should film him for an ad or something...
E) The Shoot-the-Star game guy who opened his booth for the day.
Cool...