"We're Built for this Shit." Part 3

Werd, so after 3 hours of sleep, I was totally ready for a day of speakers and workshops. Sort of. Much 'eggs'n'OJ' was consumed by the *very* hungover crew Saturday morning as we prepared to learn how to be better activists.
"Canvassers are the unsung heroes of American democracy." -Ralph Nader
"Ralph Nader is the reason we lost Florida in 2000 and spent the last 4 years on damage control instead of moving our agenda forward. Jerk." -canvassers
(Okay, we don't really think that. He did found Clean Water Action and all....)
So yeah, I spent most of the day learning about the actual workings of the canvass operation nation-wide. There weren't lectures about that, but that's what I wanted to understand. Turns out, Clean Water Action, along with lots of other progressive canvass crews, are under this massive for-profit corporate umbrella group called Hudson Bay Company (HBC). How weird is that? There are other massive canvass umbrellas too, like PAN (Progressive somethin somethin). So, north Jersey NJEF is under HBC, but south Jersey's NJEF office is under PAN. Bizarreness abounds. I was a little miffed by this. I was also a little miffed by the fact that everyone knew everyone else already due to past conferences or cross-trains (where you spend a few weeks at another canvass operation). So I spent a lot of time wandering around introducing myself to people with varying success. This was far too much sober time in a row.
Oh! I also learned that like, the skills I learned at Wes put me waaaaay above the organizing curve. Let that be a lesson 05ers!
So, after a lot of awkward sober small talk, NJ reconvened at our cabin to prepare for the closing speaker. And by "prepare" I mean drink more beer and learn dice! Chris, a jack of all trades illicit, offered to show me and his very cool girlfriend from Texas how to play, so we sat on the back porch, basking in the warm red state air and sipping (more or less) beer. Chris, after deciding that the reason we were wrecking him was that the table was not good, retrieved a cardboard beer box and flattened it for a better surface.
"Now we're playing authentically Newark dice." -me
"Where do you think I learned this?" -Chris
The rest of team North Jersey returned in time to catch the closing speaker who was absolutely hilarious. He had been a canvasser years ago and had worked his way up the ladder to be... umm.. something else. I forget. But anyhoo, canvassing 20 years ago was the same as canvassing now. Rich people are mean to you, and every once in about 200 doors someone gives you hot chocalate and a $100. After that, kegs were wheeled in. Everyone drank, hacked, and prepared for the talent show (which was a rich display of in-jokes that I will spare you).
Following that, it was off to the many parties being thrown that night. Eric and I headed into the night, already thoroughly buzzed and armed with more beer, and started a dance party at, *i think* the Nebraska phone canvassers' cabin. At some point, I tried to get that closing speaker somewhat important guy to tell me a story he had told last year that had become legend. (All I know is it involves the line, "Dude. The burb broke in half!") Later in the night, he offered some sage-like (at least i thought so at the time) advice while we passed a bottle of Wild Turkey back and forth. At some point, David texted KT and Chris (he has since sworn he does not know how to use the text function of his cell phone) with the message, "Party! Woo!" so, of course, KT and Chris wandered drunkenly over (and fell in a ditch). Some kid whose name I never caught and I danced for like 6 hours straight. (When the fuck did 6am happen?) We all tried to find punk rock hoodie, but we failed. Alas.
Drunkenly, Eric, KT, and I stumbled back to our cabin. I fell in a ditch. Eric fell in a ditch. KT decided, "We need to start driving home Right Now," and proceeded to begin packing the burb. David walked in a few minutes later, took one look at KT's frantic packing, and crashed into bed alongside Eric. (Awww.) I passed out on a couch. We all swore we would get up and leave at 8am.
At 8am, I woke up on the couch and moved to my bed.
9am.
At 9am, Florida came into our cabin looking for Eric. "He's sleeping with David."
I went back to sleep.
10am.
At 10am, Chris ran into my room, pulling his pants on and looking for a shirt. "Get up Kerry! It's 10:00am! I set my alarm for 10Pm by accident!" (KT had set her alarm for some random arse drunk time.)
Everyone hurriedly packed the burb and piled in. After about 15 minutes, David realized he had nothing to drink. "Can we stop for like, a second, so I can buy some water?" "NO!"
11:00am.
At this point, after about a half hour of driving, KT became too sleepy to drive, so I took over with Chris as my navi-guesser. ("Don't tell David we stopped.") The exchange took place at the edge of some army shooting range with rusted signs warning blue staters to stay far away. Crickets chirped. The sun was warm. The road was dusty and empty in that stereotypical road trip kinda way. We pulled back onto the highway and Chris asked me if I was hungover yet. "Haven't you slept like, 6 hours since Wednesday?"
I explained that my grandmother had always said Irish people do not get hungover, they 'feel under the weather'.
"But I am really pushing the limits of that this weekend," I added. "I slept less and drank more than I have ever done in a small period of time."
Chris considered that, and replied, "We're built for this shit."
And with an exchange of mischievous grins, we cranked Blind Melon and sped across the state of Kentucky.