Digging a Hole

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

How to: Vote Early, Vote Often!

Werd,
So, this may be a really close election. As a citizen, it is your duty to make sure you exercise your right to vote..... as much as possible!
Here is a citizen's guide to being a *really* dedicated participant in democracy!
1) Register your dead relatives! (Note: this only works in states with same day registration at this point.)
Poll Worker: "Thanks for your vote Dead Grandma Spoon!"
2) Wear a funny disguise and vote again! Glasses with a nose and mustache attached are key.
3) No dead relatives? Knock off a neighbor! (Only if they plan on voting for a candidate other than yours.)
4) Jump a Green Party member on their way to the polls! Their vote wouldn't have mattered anyway. Plus, they are notoriously easy to beat up.
5) "Help" an elderly voter with their absentee ballot.
So, now you have your mission! You had better vote at least once.
Don't know where? www.mypollingplace.com
I'll be in PA using slightly more legitimate means to increase my voter power like phone banking other Kerry supporters. But I mean, if the Republicans are sending out flyers telling black people they'll get arrested for trying to vote with an unpaid parking ticket, then it's totally okay if Dead Grandma Spoon votes.... a few times....
KICK THE VOTE'S ARSE TOMORROW!

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home