Fuck You Princess Tiger Lily!

Werd,
So, this weekend, I used my new "i have a job!" income to travel to Boston, home of Massachusetts liberals (RED sox. Coincidence?!) and other stereotypes. Anyhoo, so I decided not to take the FungWah Bus because Greyhound/Peter Pan has this deal where you can go from NYC to Boston for the same price on the weekends. Sweet, right?
So, at 2pm Friday, after taking a bus into NY from Bloomfield, I boarded a bus to Boston. Estimated arrival time? 6:30pm.
This bus was called "Tinkerbell." (Isn't Peter Pan Lines clever?) The real Tinkerbell could fly. Our Tinkerbell could barely make it out of NYC before it overheated and ended up chilling on the side of the highway. "Emergency! Emergency!" yelled the driver over the intercom waking me up in a panic. "I think the bus is on fire!" yelled one passenger. Pretty quickly, we realized that the bus was just hot. So we sat.
About 10 minutes later, another Peter Pan bus pulled in front of us and offered to rescue us.... but only 27 of us. The driver announced, "27 of you will take this bus. The rest will wait here for a new bus for a while." Predictably, a riot ensued over which 27 people got to move on. Finally, the bus driver returned to tell us that the bus in question was not going to Boston; it was going to Hartford. Hartford is like Boston only with no sports teams or charm. So we all chilled out on Tinkerbell and waited for a rescue.
I sat on the guardrail along the highway, listened to Green Day, and acted cool. Some other dude from the bus took my picture a bunch. ("Listless angst on the side of a highway", 2004.) Finally, a second bus came (about an hour later). This bus was called the Princess Tiger Lily. The PTL had AC and modern seating. It also had just run out of batteries. Once everyone was safely on board, the driver annouced that Princess was also broken and would not start. We all shuffled back onto Tinkerbell.
Anyone familiar with Peter Pan knows that in order to revive Tinkerbell, the audience must clap their hands. Well, we tried that theory on Tinkerbell the bus too. The bus company had no more buses to send for us, so we were going to have to make it to Hartford on Tinkerbell somehow. And by somehow I mean first gear the whole way. Woot!
After an excruciatingly long journey, Tinkerbell limped into Hartford. Waiting for us was.... a third bus! This bus (Mike and John) traveled about an hour before we heard the familiar cry of "Emergency! Emergency!" Mike and John was also out of batteries, but we were still an hour from Boston, so we turned out all of the lights and AC, switched off the movie (ironically, Peter Pan), and hoped for the best. Mike and John managed to crawl into South Station after 9pm. I got a full refund.
I did some stuff in Boston with Aerob and Sadownik. It was fun but not relevant to this story. =D
So, today (Sunday) I boarded a Peter Pan bus to return home. One hour into the trip.... "Uh, ladies and gentlemen, the bus has run out of battery power. I am shutting off the AC and trying to make it to the next rest stop."
Guess what the name of *this* bus was? Princess Tiger Lily! The return of! Someone other than me should really keep track of which buses need new batteries. WTF.......
This driver handled the situation pretty darn well, and we spent the time waiting for a rescue bus at McDonalds. The final bus to get us (Wendy's Bus) made it to NYC in record time. Wendy always was the responsible one........
In conclusion, (to the tune of Wang Chung) everybody FungWah next time!